1. Thou shalt approach, even if the situation is not ideal
Too often it’s easy to psyche yourself out of an approach with endless excuses.
“She’s too far away”
“That dude walking near her must be her boyfriend”
“Ah, she’s walking the opposite way from where I’m going”
“We’re on the train / in a store / in public / on an escalator so I can’t approach”
“She already saw me”
“She’s already talking to that dude / surrounded by her friends”
And you might be right the situation isn’t ideal. BUT nothing ventured, nothing gained, and often your mind is a little TOO crafty in coming up with B.S. excuses that don’t actually mean anything real. Just approach. If anything is weird or if you offend her father/brother/boyfriend/girlfriends you can walk it back and simply apologize and compliment them on their daughter/girlfriend/friend (or even win them over to your cause).
2. Thou shalt always lead, have a plan, and follow your agenda
It doesn’t even matter what your plan is. It can even be a bit lame (“Let’s go buy socks!”). Just have one, and pursue it. This will help you avoid getting sucked into her agenda and random plans which take you away from your goals rather than towards them. Most of the time when girls suggest random plans or changes to your plans (“Let’s do X instead of Y”) or if they suck you completely into their agenda, their plans don’t take things in the most exciting or beneficial direction, even for the girls themselves. Take on the mantle and lead lead lead!
3. Thou shalt not squander opportunities
Of course, everybody wants to maximize their ability and skill in situations they’ve already begun. And that’s normal, even if over-analysis and thought over one single girl or situation generally leads to unattractive, needy behavior. A type of pain less felt, but perhaps more deserving is squandering opportunities. Did you walk too slow, and now that 9 you were running after jumped into a taxi or her workplace? Did you talk yourself out of approaching completely? Did you pull a girl home but fail to even make a move with conviction? Did you have a girl out on a date but decide to “play it safe” rather than go for what you actually want? You only get one life, and often with women, you really only get one chance. Plus, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Better make the most of it, and if you don’t, vow to take that shot next time.
Some of the most powerful formative experiences are when you know you dropped the ball and swear to take every future opportunity.
4. Thou shalt be savage and committed rather than tentative and uncertain
Many sure-fire lays have been lost with wishy-washy indecision, tentative escalation, and lack of focus or concentration. Whenever you commit to a path of action, believe in your actions and move with certainty and conviction.
There will always be a moment when the girl checks your eyes to see how much you believe in your plan. “Is this guy really certain?” They’ll peer into your soul. At this critical juncture, you must be rock solid. Yes, this is my plan. I have things under control. We are doing this.
Any flinch, and the game is up.
5. Thou shalt not spend excessive money or time on girls who you’re not sleeping with
It can be tempting to imagine that more time or fancier activities will increase your chances of hooking up with a girl. This is almost always false. In practice, spending more time and money will lead to the girl boxing you into specific roles like “boyfriend mode” which usually means “wait a long time until banging.” The only time spending more money on the girl makes sense is to make things run smoother (taxi instead of walking, or hotel instead of something else), easier, of it it’s something you wanted to do anyway. That said, you DO have to be willing to put some money on the line in order to get girls, whether that means paying for part of the izakaya, karaoke, and certainly the logistics. But 98% of girls will be just as happy at Torinokizoku as they will be at Jojoen. After all, it should be about time with you, not the activity.
6. If (and when) in isolation, thou shalt provide the penis
Women have needs and desires too, even though men might forget that fact. By the time a women has come to your house or entered isolation with her, it’s your duty to at least offer her some penis. Imagine you offer a good friend to spend the night, then simply say “Ok, I’m going to sleep!” and leave them in your kitchen without pillow, mattress, or any sleeping logistics. Imagine inviting someone over for dinner and giving them no silverware. Not very nice, is it?
Similarly, if a women takes all the time to get cute, take the train over to your station, puts on makeup and nice smells, walks all the way back to your place, and you still don’t make the move? Not all, but many women will leave upset and disappointed.
7. Thou shalt seek affinity in potential partners
In the reckless pursuit of sexually active and impressionable young women, many of us slip into taking a “by all means” approach, robotically pursuing a specific date course, regurgitating previously memorized stories or telling the same jokes. We bounce and escalate in the same way. And it’s certainly better than nothing. But it’s important to maintain the SOUL of the pickup, by seeking true affinity with the girls you’re seated across from. No doubt, you won’t be a perfect match for every girl out there, and you can still hook up with those girls too. BUT the very process of testing for and seeking a deep level of affinity with women whom you engage will be felt and appreciated. Note – you don’t actually have to find or force affinity. Simply seek it. Test for it. Explore it. Sometimes, like an awkward dance, it can take time to develop. But this works far better than coming from the assumption of “How can I sleep with this girl” or “What can I say to make her like me.” These last two are low-level paradigms that won’t get you far.
8. Thou shalt learn of and demonstrate knowledge of her world
Similarly to seeking affinity, it’s powerful and important to try to understand her world. What does she think about? Dream about? What does she spend her money on and why? What kinds of people does she hang out with? Keep distance from? Who is she dating, and why? What are people in her circle concerned about?
This is supremely important for connecting with her. In so many words, you have to demonstrate that 1. You know and understand her world. 2. You are capable of walking with her in her world without embarassing her with faux pas or judging her or her friends. 3. You will fit in and listen to her. So whether it’s a circle-active gal or a pink-haired goth lolita, you should try your best to understand and examine their worlds, music, slang, thoughts, brands, and activities.
9. Thou shalt not ruin friendships with guys for girl(s)
In almost every situation, your relationship with a buddy is more important than any single girl. Remember to abide by the rules of wingmanship:
-he who approaches chooses his target
-he who invited the girl gets first “dibs” and anyone who wants her should ask that guy
-don’t directly sabotage your bros
And so on. Now, obviously, when going out with bros the goal is to meet girls, so don’t feel bad leaving them for the night. But do at least communicate and make sure to let them know what’s happening. If you do ever slip up and step on someone’s toes (it happens to the best of us), reach out and apologize. Your bro friendships generally last much longer than any girl.
10. Thou shalt uplift the ecosystem
There are many dark alleys and side roads on the path of game, and many of them lead to less than savory places. Disregarding women (or your own) health or mental states. Imagining that treating women poorly is the same thing as having masculine strength and power. Over-harvesting specific areas in less than ecological ways. Generally being a public nuisance. Getting hostile with girls who reject you.
The list goes on.
Remember to try to always leave girls better off than you found them. Have their interests at heart, even as you lead the entire interaction. You should lead from a strength of power, like a shepherd who cares for his flock rather than a dictator trying to squeeze every ounce of productivity out of his populace.
