Reflexivity and Reaction, or: How to Actually Take Action

A great deal of thought has been given over to the more motivational aspects of game. And it’s natural, given that so many men seem capable of realizing what to do in an intellectual sense, while remaining basically incapable of following through with it — or at least, incapable of following through with it to the extent that they should be!

For many men, it’s a common, almost daily occurrence: being out and about and noticing beautiful women, realizing you SHOULD immediately approach them and then…doing nothing, except perhaps staring longingly after them as they cross the street, board the train or dart into a store.

BUT — is it really a question of motivation? After all, if you’re reading this article or otherwise spending any amount of time proactively trying to improve your success with Japanese women, you’re probably already pretty motivated, right? And if you’ve read the Japan Game book, watched any of the videos or taken the Social Metamorphosis Course, you probably have a fairly good understanding of just how possible it is to have immediate, unqualified success with Japanese women soon after approaching. So, what’s really stopping you?

Over the years we’ve come to realize that a lot of what people commonly think of as “approach anxiety” can more often be characterized as something like “approach reluctance,” and that this reluctance is due more to SOMEONE ELSE cockblocking you than it is to any common insecurities or fear of negative repercussions.

And by SOMEONE ELSE we mean YOUR BRAIN.

Let’s pause for a moment before we go any further. Stop and think for a moment. Do the following well-meaning injunctions sound familiar?

Always approach when you see your ideal girls!
Approach anyway, regardless of how you’re feeling!
Approach even if the girl is walking away from you quickly!
Approach even when the girl is with her friends or seems otherwise “occupied”!
Take right action at all times!!!
Push for more than you think you can get!!!

Yeah, you’ve heard all this before, right? And yet you still can’t seem to take action!

When trying to explain why this is the case, most would-be gamers fall back on a host of psychological rationalizations. Maybe they’ll blame their insecurities (too short! Too poor! Too ugly! Can’t speak Japanese!), or else their current situation (“I’m on my way to work now! Job is too busy recently, don’t have time to game!”). They might also retreat into their “inner game cave” and waste months trying to “improve themselves” in some kind of nebulous way. They might stress a need to “get their life together” before taking action. Either way, the result is the same: they don’t approach and feel bad, then feel even worse after the fact, which in turn makes them even less likely to approach.

But over-emphasizing psychology is a red herring. After having taught literally hundreds of bootcamp students, one of the undeniable truths Sinapse and I have picked up is that being able to consistently and successfully game has more to do with classical conditioning and deconditioning than it does with “willpower” or “motivation,” much less “inner game” or how good-looking, rich or well-employed you are.

During bootcamp, the role of the instructor is to constantly validate the students for taking action, regardless of the outcome. The goal here is not so much to get the students “direct success” in an instrumental sense (such as getting them favorable attention from girls, an immediate pull to a hotel, or any other kind of “result”…although this certainly does happen fairly often on BC, given how hard we kick it) as it is to inculcate the habit of taking action, building up the neural pathways necessary for a long-term routine. Just like an actual military bootcamp, the goal is to deprogram and reprogram the students.

While this might sound a bit sinister at first, the truth is that the exact same process takes place when you establish a consistent gym routine, or even do something as simple as start showing up to the same place at the same time every day for your job. Doesn’t sound very impressive, but it actually is! The fact that the lazy, disorganized primates we call human beings are able to consistently do ANYTHING AT ALL according to a precise, clock-bound schedule is evidence of our capacity for establishing disciplined routines. And these routines are less a matter of motivation or belief than they are of continual repetition.

After all, you weren’t always able to read, right? While you can no doubt scan this text fairly quickly without even thinking about it (unlessidosomethinglikethisorrrrraddddddmorrrrrreletttters), at one time you had to sound out all the words at a snail’s pace. The same goes for all the hundreds of little routines that make up your day, such as taking a shower, brushing your teeth, getting dressed and tying your shoelaces. Although you might not remember it in detail, someone (probably your parents) once had to show you how to carry out these procedures, then most likely had to get on your ass about them until you actually started consistently doing them every day, after which they became second nature. And this “second nature” quality to your daily routines — or tasks delegated to your brain — gives them their “autopilot” status.

Yeah, your brain, remember?

Your brain is not your friend.

Serious. Despite being the repository of all your knowledge and life experience, your brain isn’t always acting in your best interests. And in fact, your brain often takes the role of the “inner hater” — a kind of mental projection or inner voice that’ll try to bring you down and stop you from taking action.

In fact, your brain will do everything it can to keep you from shifting into a different dynamic emotional state, or stepping out of your daily routines — even though those routines were once new and unfamiliar. This is because the brain loves to run things on autopilot. And it makes sense, in a way: you don’t have to expend many mental resources on autopilot tasks and routines, because after a certain point, they pretty much run themselves. Almost as if you were a robot. Kinda scary, right?

So your brain wants to automate as much of your daily life as possible, and it doesn’t take kindly to you consciously trying to impose new routines. It’ll do anything it can to keep things the same, and will resist your attempts to run new programs. Ones like:

Your brain thinks all of that is fine in theory, but it doesn’t want you to actually do any of it, because that would involve a lot of new, random and dynamic variables, such as interacting with tons of strangers every day and taking massive amounts of positive action to get outside of your comfort zone. Which, as stated above, is EXACTLY WHAT YOU SHOULD BE DOING…

…except your brain doesn’t like it. It wants to keep things safe, and it doesn’t want you entering situations where the outcome is unknown.

It’s not that your brain even really believes that massive action is bad. The brain isn’t evil, it just wants to maintain the status quo, which it perceives as safer for you, and over time it’s gotten so used to the “normality” of not approaching that it now thinks this is how things should be. As a result, it’s going to try to throw a spanner in the works, manifesting as the “inner hater” voice, or else throwing up constant psychological smokescreens of insecurity and rationalization. You know: those parts of yourself that tell you you’re not good enough, or that you’ll approach tomorrow instead of today — when you feel in the mood.

Remember, though, that all of these smokescreens are thoroughly groundless, just cheap attempts by the brain to save energy and maintain the status quo by keeping you on autopilot. Your insecurities and psychological doubts have no relation at all to your potential for game success. Therefore, rather than try to “work through” them with “personal growth” or any other self-help gimmicks, it’s best to ignore them entirely.

So, once the fundamentally irrational nature of your brain’s scheduling attempts is realized, you can take the appropriate steps to dealing with them. Which means kicking your brain to the curb and taking a dive into direct right action and total immediacy.

Sounds great, right? But HOW?

1. Repetition, Repetition, Repetition.

As mentioned above, during bootcamp Sinapse and I always stress the mechanical process of game; that is, the physical series of steps involved in noticing a girl, identifying her as desirable and then immediately moving towards her (hint: this sequence should happen as quickly as possible, almost instantaneously!). And we always stress that it’s the students’ responsibility to continue taking as much action as possible in the weeks and months following bootcamp, which is when the real routines will be established.

There’s a very real kind of “muscle memory” involved in building up the physical responses involved with doing game, and the process of developing it can’t be faked or skimped on. Would-be gamers often let their brains defeat them by simply not committing enough to repetition: or in other words, the daily actions that will eventually cohere into unconscious routines. The hard, mechanical grind is very real. So get to it! In the long run, it’ll be your salvation.

So, the goal is to get yourself taking action as much as possible, by any means necessary! This could involve establishing a buddy system with a wing, in which you set aside specific times to game, keeping each other accountable. Or you could use reminders on your phone or other scheduling devices to carve out specific times in which you MUST be doing approaches. Note that the simple act of forcing yourself to remain outside in public for extended, regular periods of time each week is what will eventually lock you into your new routine, even if at first you only end up approaching a single girl, or none at all. Above all, keep approaching!

2. Shut down thought. Act.

Don’t get caught up in “paralysis through analysis.” Instead, take ACTION!

Another component of bootcamp involves pushing students to approach even when they seem completely tired, flustered, confused or unmotivated. In fact, we’ll often cut them off in mid-sentence to send them after a girl. This has the effect of desensitizing them, or in other words, overriding the brain’s ability to suck them into harmful thought spirals. It’s in this radical state of exhausted, thoughtless action that new routines and reflexes can be formed.

And here we come to the crucial concept of reflexivity and reaction time. It’s no secret that day game in Japan takes place in an extremely fast-paced environment. With tons of scouts and Japanese nanpa kids active around most major stations, and with girls already primed to move quickly to reach their destination, the successful gamer simply NEEDS to have a standard reaction time that’s much faster than what most people would bring to the table. And right off the bat, most beginner gamers just don’t have sharp enough reaction times to not only consistently spring into action, but also persevere and persist with girls who don’t immediately give them attention. And yet, sheer mechanical reaction time is one of the most under-discussed yet absolutely vital skills of all.

The ability to rapidly act without much — if any — conscious thought is one shared by all high level gamers in Japan. And while it might seem mysterious, in almost all cases this skill was attained through consistent, repetitive action.

Remember, you’ve gotta defeat your brain, and that means ignoring its attempts to paralyze you with thought spirals. The brain is like an evil sorcerer trying to lull you to sleep. Don’t give it a chance to start talking! The longer you hesitate, the less likely it is you’ll take action and the more likely it is the brain will convince you that it’s “too late,” that it “wouldn’t have worked anyway,” that “she was out of your league,” etc. As stated above, all of this is NONSENSE with no bearing on the reality of the situation, so there’s no need to address any of it on the purely “content-based” level (i.e. you don’t need to actually make a list of reasons why the girl was “in your league” or whatever — all you need to do is notice her, feel interest and then approach).

The concept of not getting hung up on thought carries over into other forms of interaction, such as text game. As always, if you sense you’re spending too much time on hesitation and analysis, you probably just need to DO something, even if it doesn’t turn out how you’d planned. Remember, the ability to quickly and successfully improvise is something you need to work on developing.

3. Detach totally from outcome. Instead, schedule your state.

It’s almost become dogma around these parts that the successful gamer shouldn’t attach himself to projected outcomes or results. As with most statements of this kind, however, the reality is that focusing only on right action is often easier said than done. In practice, most gamers still tend to find themselves elated by “successes” such as positive attention or fast sex and depressed by “failures” such as being ignored or flaked on.

While outcome dependence naturally lessens with time, there are a few shortcuts or hacks that you can use to become less reactive. State scheduling, though still somewhat experimental, is an interesting way to short-circuit the brain and fast track peak state.

We’ve already discussed the idea that psychological rationalizations for inaction are just a kind of smokescreen or distraction thrown up by the brain, when the real problem is almost always THE BRAIN ITSELF — or in other words, your tendency to come up with self-defeating rationalizations at all, rather than anything in their specific content.

Since the brain tends to want to default to its autopilot routines, it will use familiar conditioned emotional responses to make you feel certain ways at certain times. This often works to your detriment — for example, you might start feeling nervous and “unworthy” before a date with an extremely beautiful girl.

One way to get around this is to set up a “state schedule” — or in other words, a daily schedule for how you’re going to feel at specified times each day. Your schedule might look something like:

11: 00 AM – Playful, silly
12: 00 PM – Baseline
1:30 PM – Motivated and Determined
2:30 PM – Baseline
6:00 PM – Negativity and Despair
6:30 PM – Baseline
7:00 PM – Peak State and Total Positive Excitement

At the scheduled times, really consciously force yourself to feel the specified emotions and states, no matter how incongruous or difficult it seems. By forcing yourself to cycle through so many different emotions, you’ll disrupt the brain’s autopilot routines – in effect, messing up its plans for your day. Note that the brain will likely resist this as much as possible, because it’s used to being the one calling the shots! Your brain thinks you’re its bitch, and it will initially resist your attempts to impose discipline. For example, your attempt to consciously force yourself into a negative state (“I’m such a loser! Everyone is so much cooler and better-looking and successful than me! Oh no, woe is me! Suffer, suffer, suffer!”) will likely result in you feeling more ridiculous than truly bad, since your brain isn’t used to you TRYING to experience negative emotions. You might find your brain becoming confused, and instead trying to reassure you (“Hang on, things aren’t actually that bad!”). This confusion is a good way to break up ingrained mental routines and get yourself into a positive, thoughtless state for taking action.

In general, regardless of the specifics, the act of consciously monitoring your state and emotions (mindfulness) is one that will take you far.

4. Move the goal posts.

Most beginning gamers tend to overthink things, making action out to be more complicated than it is. Rather than getting hung up on vague nuances of what girls MIGHT be thinking, what they MIGHT be intending with their messages, or what they MIGHT be considering as they pass by you in public, it’s better to break your agenda into small, manageable steps.

Think of it this way. First you need to focus on going outside. Then, while you’re there, you need to find a girl who interests you. Then, you need to quickly get over to her. From there, you need to improvise in the moment and push things as far as they’ll go…

In the abstract, all of this can sound overly elaborate, or like you need to memorize long-winded routines. But none of this is true. And the more you move the goal posts or focus on small, manageable actions, the easier it will all become. This will have the added effect of making you more comfortable with uncertainty and improvisation, rather than feeling like you need to plan everything in advance or come in with pre-prepared content. Remember, the goal is total immediacy.

5. Don’t try to get better. Just lose yourself in action.

Action, action, action. Yup — the game is all about you taking action.

But while this sounds like a simple principle, many gamers fall into the trap of excessively comparing themselves to their friends and wings, or otherwise becoming preoccupied with how far along they are on the path — even when they’ve done next to no hard grinding!

It sounds paradoxical, but progress schedules for game can themselves be an impediment to progress. By getting hung up on whether you’re getting better or not, you actually miss the reality of the moment. Of course, provided you go out consistently and take right action as much as possible, you’ll naturally improve over time, but it helps to keep your head down and focus only on your next approach.

The five points above all have a common theme: disrupting the brain’s schedule and getting yourself onto your TRUE PATH. This conveniently sidesteps most “motivational” or self-help based advice while keeping you focused on action, action, ACTION!!!

So go out and take it!