Game is the poor man’s therapy. Most of us come into game carrying a ton of negative or unhelpful beliefs. Through constant right action, reflection, and feedback from girls along the way, we shed much of these beliefs, leaving us more open to new experiences, less judgmental, less negative, and more finely attuned to the deep needs and sense of purpose in both yourself and the women you come into contact with.
When I started gaming I was very much tossed around by the currents of my thoughts. Something bad would happen or a girl would give me a negative response and I felt crushed. When a girl said “kakkoi” or gave me her LINE I would feel elated. This led to feeling like a tiny ship being thrown around by a huge storm.
The reason for this is wrong view. In Buddhism there are two causes of suffering. These are Upadana, or attachment and Tanha, or craving. Today I will be looking at both of these forms in relation to game.
Within attachment, or clinging, there are four kinds:
This type of clinging is clinging to women with whom you have had sex. In the context of game, it most commonly means attachment to girls who are your regulars or girlfriends, and abandonment of the noble path (gamers “disappearing” after getting a girlfriend). Note that having a girlfriend or even being monogamous isn’t inherently bad. However, clinging to the provider of sense-pleasure is. In other words, if you are with her because she provides sex and sex is pleasurable, that isn’t right action or walking the path. A way to diagnose this is the have multiple sources of sex, and then through the comparison of the women in totality, including sex, affinity, values, etc., then choose your girlfriend or regular.
This type of clinging refers to clinging onto beliefs or patterns of thought which are negative, unhelpful, and misleading. For example, “I can’t pull a girl if I say the word ‘house’”. “I can’t pull from X venue.” In general, clinging to any “hard truth” is going to mess you up at some point. Sure there are rules and heuristics which may give you a more “efficient” game mentality, but there WILL be a point at which believing in the heuristic will hold you back. In general, this type of clinging can be fixed by “emptying your cup”, or removing as many assumptions as possible. Even experienced gamers will benefit from this.
-rites and rituals clinging
This type of clinging in game refers to the idea that ONLY mastering of external behaviors, routines, tricks, lines, logistics, etc will lead to ultimate game success. Gamers who cling in this manner are always looking for a “quick fix” or a particular way to overcome a certain objection, or more generally “how to get that one girl”. They fail to see the larger picture and how success is predicated on their own deep, core-level change. The way to overcome this is to double down on process-oriented focus. Understand that there is NO magic pill and no quick fix, you actually have to just buckle down and grind at this until your ego wears down enough and you get enough experience that you can express yourself honestly and full in a masculine way.
This type of clinging assumes that you have a permanent self. This manifests in game in the being unsure you are able to change or improve. You feel set in your ways and don’t think game could ever work for you. This also encompasses (especially at the intermediate level) having a “set” form of game, doing things the same way every time, and failing to improve. To move past this stage of clinging the gamer is encouraged to destroy their routine behaviors and constantly experiment.
Within craving, there are three types:
This type of craving produces behavior that focuses entirely on sex and sexual fulfillment, without regard for the woman as a person. In short, the gamer views women as objects who are mere holders of the source of their own sexual release, rather than independent creatures with their own thoughts and values. In short, this is seen as craving sex and sex alone as the goal of pickup. The way to overcome this is by thinking about things from the woman’s perspective and thinking about what her best interests are, even if that means losing the girl.
-Craving to be
This form of craving has to do with reputation and esteem. The gamer craves, perhaps more than the girl in front of him or walking the path itself, to be seen as being “good at game”. The gamer is more concerned about his outward appearance to girls and peers alike, and would prefer the girl to know he is “sexworthy” or “good with chicks” rather than actually get the girl. The way through this is to stop attaching importance to how others see you. Trip when you’re going into a set, or smear something on your face so the girl doesn’t think you’re cool. Use self-deprecating humor. And stop posting every time you lay a girl to get applause and accolades. You’ll find the rewards plentiful.
-Craving not to be
This form of craving is quite simply, craving of rest. Craving not to walk the path anymore. The gamer is disheartened and does not want to experience more ego pain, so he examines other options. This is also known as craving COMFORT. This may result in the gamer taking a break from the game, focusing on other things, etc. Note that not gaming is not necessarily bad, the key here is that the gamer is running away from his demons instead of confronting them.
In short, attachment is clinging to things which you already think you “have” (because fundamentally ownership itself is nonexistent). Craving is seeking things which you think you dont “have” (but in the end, you already have everything you need inside of you, if you could only realize it).
The way through the “Abyss” of game, as Dorian Gray described it, is to continually watch for and remove yourself from these forms of attachment and craving, and continue following the North star compass of right action.
To find and successfully pass through the Abyss, every gamer must fall into EACH of the pitfalls, and pull themselves out on their own. If you have a mentor or someone who has walked the path longer they may be able to help point out which one you may be slipping into, but in the end you and only you must pull yourself out. The path is walked (or found, rather) by slipping into each of the seven pitfalls described above, recognizing that limitation or weakness, and re-correcting yourself back onto the path. Right action is your guide and keeps you moving forward and progressing. Your reward for continuing down the path is ego destruction itself.
Ultimately the end result of crossing the Abyss (Da’at) is a total lack of attachment and craving. You continue to follow right action and pursue women, but they no longer affect you strongly either positively or negatively. In some ways you may feel jaded or disinterested, but in others you are supremely focused on aligning your own and her spiritual interests. You feel much the same whether you have sex with a girl or whether she completely blows you out – your esteem is not affected, and you honestly CAN take it or leave it. You are completely non-judgmental with girls and no longer feel affected if they flake on your date or don’t want to have sex with you. Put simply, you’ve become a rock in the storm. The world may try to throw you for a loop by splashing you with positive and negative experiences, but your own self-opinion and self-worth is unaffected.
You can handle criticism and personal attacks without getting sucked into them. Rather than descending to the level of your attackers, you instead try to bring everybody up to the best of your ability. You surround yourself with and attract positivity. You notice that you seem to attract higher and higher quality of women, both physically and, critically, mentally. You do not judge women with issues, instead you find they simply do not latch onto you as often. Instead you are surrounded by high quality women with strong values and self-esteem which match your own, even when expending less and less effort, almost as if by magic. You notice this on every level as well, not merely with women. The quality of your problems increases, as does the quality of your social circle. Men of power and value see your merit and allow you into your circle.
In the end, you realize that the only thing holding you back the whole time was various mental barriers within yourself and forms of attachment and craving. You come to a spiritual peace with the world.
There are many paths, and nampa is not the only one. If nampa isn’t the path for you that’s fine. But I would suggest committing to A path of your choosing and putting in the hard work, sweat, tears, and enduring the monumental amount of ego pain you’ll go through on whatever path you may choose. The alternative – not sticking with anything and not putting your ego out there (also known as falling into comfort) – is highly unattractive and unsatisfying in the long run.