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Updated – 11/16/2016
Biggest Mistakes of Street Pickup in Japan
Alright. You’re here at the big Mikan, pumped up at all the hot, leggy mammals running around dressed up to the nines, and you want to get out there and talk to them. Great! But first – be sure you don’t fall into the biggest pitfalls of street pickup in Japan with these 10 mistakes:
1. Touching Her Too Soon
One of the biggest differences between Japan and the West is the amount of acceptable physical contact. Japanese people tend to be a lot less touchy than their foreign counterparts – even with people they know well. You would do well to adjust for this and limit the amount you touch girls on the street – especially in the first few minutes of the interaction.
2. Being Too Aggressive or Sexual
Guys desperately want to avoid getting stuck in the dreaded “friend zone” but they overcompensate and come across as too aggressive. On the street, for most girls, this is usually just plain scary and she doesn’t know if you’re going to attack her or follow her home so she’ll probably duck into a shop or straight up run away from you. Slow your approach, make it calm and relaxed, yet very present. Your goal is not to appear as a sexual man — yet.
3. Being Too Weak / Timid
On the flip side of point #2, many guys are quite unsure of themselves and they come across as scared little puppies in the interaction. If you aren’t sure of yourself, she won’t stop or listen to you. Subconsciously, you’re communicating that what you have to say is not worthwhile, and she picks up on that and feeds it right back to you. In short, she isn’t even rejecting you – YOU are rejecting you! Make sure to commit to the approach – don’t make any weak or halfway approaches. Nobody wants to talk to somebody who isn’t even sure THEY want to talk.
4. Giving Up Too Soon
No doubt there is a point at which you should just stop. If she pulls a behind-the-back move or starts actually speeding up to get away, you probably aren’t getting anywhere with her. But – if she’s quietly listening or even responding just a little – don’t give up! Many girls are waiting for more information, and might be open to talk to you but are just a bit shy. Work on your monologue and keep that million dollar mouthpiece running steady and eventually you might say something she’ll perk up at and open right up.
5. Reading Too Much Into Her Responses
Often times, the girls who you think are SUPER into you will just not respond over line, and the girls who dodge your request to exchange contact information are the ones who ask you a bunch of questions and are MOST eager to meet up. In short, aside from what we mentioned in point #4 about running away or behind-the-back, if the girl is still there with you, go for the contact close or push things a little farther to see what happens. Often their responses have not much bearing on their actual interest and someone who is quiet or defensive is actually more interested than the girl who is happily responding and gives out her LINE.
6. Moving Too Slow
Some guys get rooted to the ground and move as though they have molasses stuck to their feet. It’s just another form of AA and approach resistance, but it’s still deadly. The longer you wait, the farther away the girl gets and the more chance you have to get stuck in your head. Additionally, call me hokey but I truly do think that girls can sense when you’re about to approach and the longer you wait, the less likely they are to open. If it’s a busy street you may need to slip between pedestrians and even jog or run to catch up with her quickly – but it will be worth it. Clear your mind and focus on getting into the interaction as fast as possible – and calibrate it after.
7. Not Screening Her Plans
l’ve seen it happen all too often – a guy is having a great walking interaction with a girl.. and then her boyfriend/boss/brother/etc shows up. Boom she waves goodbye and runs off with her company. You always want to check how much time she has. You can ask her “What are you up to” or other similar questions to determine this, but it’s important to know if you have 1 minute or 10. If you have more you can be a little more leisurely with seeding future plans, checking for interest, etc. If you only have one minute you should make it short and sweet, confess you don’t have much time and you should meet up on another day to hang out.
8. Not Having an Agenda
You should always have your own agenda. This will guide you away from being the “do-nothing guy” standing near the station or on the busy street. Even if its something as simple as “I just finished eating and now I’m heading to XX,” it will put your purpose and normal life in the forefront. You are just another person walking around the city just like her.
9. Trying for a Hard Stop
Some foreign-inspired gamers try to go for a hard stop on moving targets in Japan. This isn’t likely to work and usually just ends up with the guy standing and holding his balls and the girl walking on. Japanese girls are unlikely to stop for a random guy on the street – even if you actually only want something as innocent as directions. Much better to match her pace and walk alongside.
10. Settling For Less
With new or intermediate guys they often settle for having a nice interaction and just want the interaction to continue – even more than they want to bang the girl! Others will get into habits of only going for the LINE and never trying to pull right then and there. Always shoot for the stars. It helps if you know her logistics (#7) and then move forward from there. Always also know your own logistics (where is the nearest karaoke / love hotel / manga kissa / etc).