Updated – 10/31/2016
It happens: You are out trying to pickup with a wingman and a sexy duo of fit young teens who are chatting, but not exactly sold yet. You bust out your best game and they slow their roll and come to a stop, intrigued by the two male specimens who approached them. Soon, the conversation breaks up into two pairs – you and girl #1 and your buddy and girl #2. You look over and eye girl#2. Clearly she is the hotter girl, but your wingman appears to be enjoying himself, and he helped you out recently, so you just let it go. After all, girl #1 is no slouch – she looks pretty good too! Things progress, and you get the respective numbers of each of them as they are late for their 女子会 (girls’ party). You and your wingman look at each other and smile, happy the set went well. Then at the same time you both say: “Nice dude. I was just winging for you really.” Wait, what? This whole time you were both interested in the other guys’ girl? Both of you would have been happier if you had switched the targets.. and you only find out after the interaction. Alas, this happens all too often.
So that brings us to the most important rules of pickup with a wingman:
Communication is the most important part of wingmanship. Communicate to each other which girl you like best. This can be done with a established code beforehand. For example, you can ask your wing “Are you right handed or left handed?” The wing will then respond with whichever hand is closest to the girl he likes. Alternatively you can say a predetermined phrase, like “You’re a funny little elf!” to the girl who you want to designate as your target. If there is one girl who is clearly the unanimous “hottie” of the group, the guy who approached always gets dibs. This means that whoever takes the initiative and starts the interaction gets to choose which girl he wants to focus on. The guy who follows into the interaction should dutifully wing whatever other girl(s) are left over. If, however, the main girl is clearly into the second guy despite the second guy not gaming her at all and focusing on his chick, the first guy should recognize that and cede his claim. Remember that in the end, the girls are ALWAYS the ones who choose. A “claim” is only in place to prevent guys from getting in each others’ way.
2. Wingmanship is Give and Take
Realize that your wing and you are only good as your selflessness. There will be times where your wing will be sticking in despite having no interest in the girl he’s talking to. In such cases, the first guy should try to recognize this and either get the number or pull as soon as he can, so as not to occupy the second guy and waste his time unnecessarily. Of course, guys are more or less giving depending on their disposition. Try to keep a balance. If you notice one guy is winging a lot of grenades (ugly/uninteresting girls) for the other guy, try to shift it up so both are winging equally girls they really like and girls they are just sticking in there for the other dude. Keep in mind that if you are always making your buddy wing ugly girls, he won’t want to keep going out with you. Try to strike a balance.
3. The Wingman’s Role is to Occupy
The wingman doesn’t need to seduce the girl. Rather, his goal is simply to occupy her while the other guy gets in good with the main target. Epic wingmanship is moving the the winged girl farther away, even to another venue from the main target girl. But that’s the ideal, not what is expected. You occupy the winged girl by just having fun with her and making her forget her friend. The second she thinks “This is boring,” she will head back and find her friend and they will disappear to the bathroom or another venue/store. Keep the conversation interesting and light, and moving pretty quickly. Save the slow, sexual, deep discussions for girls you are actually interested in. In terms of body language and placement, it helps to position yourself so that the winged girl and the main target girl can’t see each other. Make them face away from each other and they’ll gradually start being sucked into your world and stop worrying about their friend.
4. If Both Girls are Good, the Sky is the Limit
If you are both interested in your two girls, or at least moderately so, you can take the interaction really far and shoot for an SNO (same-night orgy). This requires you to have good logistics and teamwork, but actually can often be easier than SNLing a single girl. Japanese girls are comfortable in pairs (or more) and will offer less resistance to entering an isolation location than a single girl (understandably so.. they are with their friends!). If you want to go for an SNO it’s important to have your logistics figured out beforehand, and let the guy who is in better with his girl (helps if that girl is also the leader of the girls’ pack) lead the bounce. For more about SNOs, check out this article.
5. Don’t Cramp Your Wing’s Style
If your chick is bitchy, ignoring you, or otherwise being difficult, do NOT, under any circumstances, jump into your friends set and start focusing on his girl. Actually, even in any other situation, don’t run into your wing and a single girl unless he invites you. If a guy is having a 1-on-1 conversation with a girl, the last thing you want to do is mess that up – that’s very poor wingmanship! Focus and attention are sure-fire ways to mess up a dude’s set. Instead, if your chick is being really irritable, try to just be pleasant as you can and hold it for a little while until your wing can get the number and move on. If you are the guy in set with a girl and it’s going well and you notice your wing struggling, get the number and excuse yourself to save your wing from more awkward time wasting.
6. Boost Your Friend
It’s always good to subtly drop signs that your friend is an awesome dude. More important than money or status (which can seem braggadocious if you bring it up randomly) is testimonials to his skill at a hobby or his personality in general. The point guy himself doesn’t usually want to boast himself because it’s pretty transparent, but his wing can drop little stories about his friend that make him look good. Most guys place a TON of emphasis on this in a cheesy way – obviously saying “He’s single” *wink wink* or “Wow don’t you think he’s a stud?”. This can have the opposite effect if it’s done too heavily. Boosting your friend up should be done like seasoning – a little goes a long way, and you need the right kind or the whole effect is off.
7. Bring Each Other Up, Not Down
Misery loves company, and pessimism is contagious. A good wingman knows how to bring everybody’s energy and optimism up, not down. A good wingman is a motivator and coach, who pushes both guys to hit it harder, for longer, and in more extreme fashion. He will give you a coffee if you need it and stop you drinking when you shouldn’t. He will help pump your state and keep you fresh, happy, positive, and approaching! This is one of the most important things to keep in mind when you pickup with a wingman – at the end of the day you two are out together, and your moods are directly related to each other.