Espresso Shot Game: Making a More Powerful Impression, Faster
Now, more than ever, women have HUGE amounts of options for sexual partners. She’s likely meeting a LOT of really cool, high-value guys (along with a ton of other guys as well). However, even high-value guys take some time to open up to someone and show that coolness. You can beat those guys out by being a better version of yourself in a shorter period of time.
So if you’re trying to get her out based on a short interaction, that interaction better be DAMN GOOD. Just like spam mail, people (girls especially) are incredibly good at sifting the signal from the noise. You can probably glance over your inbox in 3 seconds and zero in on every relevant and interesting email. Similarly, you have to command her attention and leave an imprint in her memory that you are an important person within a short period of time, since especially during cold approach, that’s all you get. Luckily, it’s not that hard to have better interactions than most guys. Why?
99% of guys have LAME interactions that are WATERED DOWN like weak coffee.
-Have the same “pattern” interactions (Where do you work? / Where are you from? / Why did you come to Japan? / How old are you?)
-Are boring and don’t get REAL
-Play it “safe” (avoid controversy and putting themselves out there until they know the other person)
-Are unsure what they want / how to get it
-Don’t pull the trigger
People take 3+ dates to hook up because they are hiding behind pretenses (trying to impress/hide their negatives), offering up the “Facebook” facade version of themselves, and as a result it takes 3+ dates to actually find out who the other person really is. Usually, by the third date we’re comfortable enough with someone that the “realness” of ourselves starts to come out, and we finally drop our guards a little bit enough to finally get a sense of the real truth about the person in front of us. By rooting this behavior out and actively changing it, you can get to know more about the girl in front of you (and she about you) than what takes other guys 3-10x as much time.
So most of you who follow me know the emphasis I place on these three things as the CORE of game:
2. Honestly and Unapologetically Express Yourself
3. Move the interaction forward
While these steps might push some women away from you, they clear the air and provide a consistent and masculine message, which will in turn attract the kinds of girls best suited for you, effectively turning your interactions from a watered-down convenience store coffee to a powerful Italian espresso. While not every girl is a coffee drinker, if she is, she’ll LOVE your new manner of expression. Plus, if she ISN’T a coffee drinker, chances are she wouldn’t like your previously Nescafe-ass anyway, even if she does tolerate it longer.
So how can we apply this through the lens of “Espresso Shot Game,” or presenting a more condensed, powerful version of yourself SOONER than others do?
5 steps to Espresso Shot Game:
1. Sabotage the “Pattern”
Write down all the most common questions you might ask or be asked. Replace questions you might ask with odd/humorous assumptions (or avoid those topics altogether – chances are, they aren’t that important and can be asked later). Come up with interesting ways to answer or sabotage the boring questions you are always asked.
Do away with mediocre questions, assumptions, and statements. Don’t leave people hanging with dreadfully uninteresting verbal content. Upgrade your questions, make more assumptions, and expose yourself with cutting statements.
2. Get REAL faster
Stop walking on eggshells, get out there and offend some people. There’s no time for being PC or coddling people. By being more irreverent and blunt, you might scare some people off, but the ones who like you will REALLY like you. Anyway, if you can’t say what you really think, what kind of relationship are you building? Women respect honesty.
3. Cultivate Congruence
All too many people are unsure of what they want and try to slip in under pretenses. “Let’s be friends,” the nice guy offers, hoping like a dog near the dinner table that scraps of meat will fall to him if he’s simply patient enough and close by. Others pine for women but make no moves, choosing instead to sit next to them in empty subway cars, or lurk near them rather than make an actual approach. Spoiler alert: that’s extremely creepy. Just talk to the girl.
The point here is that ultimately you should have single-minded focus, and your thoughts, words, and actions should all align, giving the woman a clear sense of who you are and what you are about. No waffling about, dilly-dallying, or being wishy-washy. Get in there and make your mark.
4. Be present
Get out of your head and in the moment. No worrying about “does she like me” or “will it work.” Get in there, focus on self-expression and curiosity in the girl. The less present you are and the more you let your mind run wild, the more you sabotage your interaction. Presence creates spontaneity, fun, and humor. Doubts, fears, and thoughts about anything other than the girl (and where you may want to take her) aren’t important.
5. Make the moves
Finally, you have to actually grab yourself by the balls and make the moves. Whether that means actually initiating the conversation, going for the LINE, asking her out on a date, kissing her, or actually having sex with her, you need to make the moves. Once again, it’s far more congruent and less creepy to actually try to kiss the girl rather than just sitting next to her staring at your empty glass or playing another Youtube song. She knows what you’re up to, and the longer you kick the can of manliness down the road the less she’ll respect you.